Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Car Crash

Five years ago, an accident occurred in the beautiful western New York countryside.  The car crash left my sister and niece with some minor injuries.  It was another story, however, for Luke.  He had been wearing a seat belt, but had tucked the shoulder strap behind him--it didn’t feel good to have it crossing his body and riding up the side of his neck.  He was 12 years old.  When the emergency crew arrived at the scene, they focused on the bloody victims first.  My sister and niece both had head lacerations and one had a broken finger.  The emergency crew noted the seatbelt bruise across my nephew Luke’s lower abdomen.  He didn’t seem to have sustained other injuries.  But a wise and experienced crew member kept an eye on him.  When he vomited, she understood there could be internal damage.   And yes, there certainly was. 

Luke before the accident.
By the time The Man and I arrived at the hospital, Luke was in a drug-induced coma.  We were told that at the time of impact, the seat belt had held his lower body in place while his upper body flew forward.  The force of that action ruptured his intestines.  We were told later that he was just minutes from death due to internal bleeding.   He had a full transfusion and lost almost two feet of intestines in the operating room.   
                  This was a messed up little guy. 

Luke after surgery, in a drug-induced coma.

We prayed to God for mercy and Luke started to heal.  He was brought out of the coma and after the doctors were confident that everything was working properly, Luke got to go home.   But within a few weeks, adhesions had caused a blockage--he needed a second surgery.  My sister says it was terrible having to tell Luke a second surgery was needed.    
He was moving forward with his recovery and wasn’t excited about having to start over. 

The second surgery fixed the problem and he began the long process of getting back into shape for his beloved sports:   baseball and basketball.  The progress was slow, but he worked hard and regained his strength. 

Fast forward to this last Saturday:   We, his family, got to watch Luke (now a big, strapping lad of 18) march down the aisle with his high school diploma in hand.  What a joy.   He attended a small private school where due to smaller class sizes, pictures of each student at different stages of life are projected during the ceremony.  As the pre-accident pictures flashed across the screen, I thought of how, at that point, the horror of two cars crashing at a country intersection hadn’t yet affected us.  We had no knowledge of what was coming.  But it did come and it was a hard and scary time.  But then came the post-accident pictures showing a strong, athletic Luke, and I felt very grateful.  We had prayed for him to recover and God had answered our prayers.  Here before us, was the tall, smiling, blue-robed living proof.  We know many people pray for loved ones in similar circumstances. Similar results are not guaranteed.  We don’t pretend to know why.  We are just thankful that Luke has his life.   His future lies ahead of him and we have been given the opportunity to stand with him and watch it unfold. 
                         

Luke, June 2011
Luke, June 2011





Congratulations Luke!


     

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Email Organization & Memories

I battled with my swollen email cache today—  folders were created,  ancient emails were organized , old ads and “forwards” from my mother were deleted.   OK, so I had over 6000 emails lying around—does that make me a bad person?  I’m now down to 372, and am quite proud of myself.  I don’t know how others handle their old correspondence, but I can’t part with notes from my kids, daughter-in-law, nieces, siblings, or close friends.  I guess emails have replaced the old yellowing ribbon-bound letters of yesteryear.   

I didn’t dare let myself stop and read the various notes, but I did notice that there were some from the time period before our son’s wedding—and memories came flooding back.   And I thought about the months of preparation for the wedding and what it was like when our son and his new wife lived close by.   They would stop over to “hang out” and Danielle and I would meet at the gym to work out together…..

Then there were the ones from our daughter.   I didn’t even have to peek—I started thinking about how drastically her life has changed over the last four years (the time period of the emails).  She had to scramble when she was first out of school—she had to deal with roommates, jobs, dealing with a beat up old car, desires to travel the world, but knowing she needed to work—the usual drama for a young lady in her early 20’s.  Things are so different now—she’s doing so well—it’s amazing.   She’s had great success in her field, has money in the bank, a new car, a roommate- free apartment, and is starting to look for a house to buy.  I’m so thankful.

Then there are the emails from a former friend.  It used to hurt just seeing her name in the inbox, but the pain of that ended relationship has lessened now.  Someday soon I’m going to re-read her emails just to marvel at how the events unfolded, I guess.  She used to start her letters with such endearing terms—did she mean them, or was there an insincerity there that went undetected at the time? 

There’s also, Lilly, my niece.  She has been a faithful correspondent for several years now and I thought today about how much she’s grown up in the time we’ve been writing.  She’s 14 now and has the privilege and pain of having a well-rounded brain.  She likes science, but is also a creative, artistic photographer.  It will be interesting to see what path she chooses in life.  She will have a lot of options. 

So anyway—all these thoughts swirled around in my head as my right shoulder started to ache from sitting improperly at the computer, clicking buttons to make my precious messages “move to” a special folder designated for that person.  I feel like I have a little treasure trove in those folders.  Every email is significant because it represents an important person and relationship in my life.  Thank you to those who have chosen to spend time at their computers, relaying their thoughts to a blank screen and pressing “send.”  You bring me joy.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Josh—A Grown Man


Well, Joshua, our youngest, turned 21 years of age yesterday.  Isn’t that something?  Yes indeed it is.  Some people ask, “Where has the time gone?”  Others say, “The time goes so fast—you turn around and they’re all grown up!”  But you know what?  I don’t feel that way.  It doesn’t seem like he was a little baby just days ago.   

Sweet little newborn Josh.  Yes, I made the quilt.

 It seems like it’s been a long journey.  I’m not saying it’s been a bad journey—on the contrary—I have many sweet memories of raising our kids.  Their childhoods are inextricable intertwined with my life, because raising them was what I did with my life. 

Doesn't everyone have one of these pictures?

Of course, it was different for us than for many families—we homeschooled at a time when it was still fairly suspect among the masses.  So for many years we spent almost all of our time together.  

Even when the kids were eventually enrolled in a Christian school, I was still very involved in their lives.  Most schools like the one they attended depend a great deal upon parental volunteerism.  So I worked in the kitchen on Wednesdays, accompanied the kids on field trips and drove the basketball and baseball teams all over creation.  And even when my mad driving and kitchen skills weren’t needed, and I didn’t see the kids at school, I was home when they got out of school to hear about their day.  And I won’t even go into all the time spent sitting on bleachers and working the concession stand when the boys played community baseball.  My tailbone is still recovering....

When it was getting close to bedtime, the reading would commence.  The four of us enjoyed a lot of books together.  When the older two were past that stage, Josh and I would spend that time alone—just the two of us, but it was still a lot of fun. 
 
When the kids were teenagers, evening activities bullied their way into our lives.  I must have logged in thousands of miles hauling the kids’ keisters to youth groups, parties, and sleepovers.   That was not particularly fun, let me tell you.  Oftentimes I was exhausted and the thought of spending my time driving to_____, dropping off child, driving home (oftentimes for 15 measly minutes of rest) driving back to _____, picking up child, driving back home was just not scintillating.  But I did it.  And there was some good conversation to be had during that drive time. 

Basically, our lives were full of each other.   So no, it doesn’t seem like Josh’s childhood passed in a flash.   Our lives unfolded together.  Now all three kids are adults and they can drive themselves around, which is good.  I miss some aspects of their being “little,” but that was then and this is now.  I’m ready for the next phase.   Happy birthday Josh!

Josh turned out rather well if I do say so myself.  Cambridge thinks so too.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Girls' Night - Complete with Knife


I’m going to a Girls’ Night gathering in an hour and a half.  We’re all supposed to bring various scrumptious dishes to share.  I’ve had two small protein shakes today—that’s it.  That is by design.  (Hear the chant:  Beach, beach, beach, beach….)


Tonight will be a true test of my mettle.  Can I (well, of course I can, technically) control myself or will my willpower detach from my person, slide to the floor, and get kicked off into a corner? 
Tonight, I must take these words to heart: 

“When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee:  And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man (woman in my case) given to appetite. (Yep, that’s me!) Be not desirous of his dainties for they are deceitful meat." 
                                                         Proverbs 23:1-3

Pray for me….

Unexpected Visitor

OK, so blogging is weird.  Well, let’s qualify that statement.  Blogging is weird when one doesn’t know what one is doing.  What is this blog supposed to accomplish?  Is there a theme?  Is there a goal?  Is it just a vehicle for one poor woman to unload her rambling musings on the world?  How much of one’s personal life should be exposed?  Why should anyone want to read this thing?  Is anyone reading this thing? 
Well, I don’t have the answers to the above questions, but I do feel better after sharing them.  (With whom, I don't know, 'cause I think I'm the only one reading this blog.)  It does feel good to vent though....
So tonight the last child in our home (who’s turning 21 on Saturday), comes in at 10:30 at night when The Man and I are reading, talking and trying to relax, and says, “A friend is coming over in a little bit to watch a movie.” 
“Oh, OK---HAVE YOU NOTICED THE CONDITION THE HOUSE IS IN?” I’m screaming in my mind.
His dad says right away, ”Well, you’d better start cleaning up then.”  That is a laugh.  The boy has just come in from playing basketball—you just know he’s going to have to take a shower if he plans on that “friend” (who **surprise** happens to be a girl) staying for more than five minutes. 
So even though I’m dead tired, I get up and start running around like crazy, doing dishes, cleaning the counter tops, wiping down the bathroom, shoving  clothes into the washing machine, straightening the pillows on the couches, and picking shredded paper, compliments of the puppy, off the floor.  Then I spot the mound of stuff off my desk and shove most of it into a bag which I tuck under my desk, and finish up by stacking on a shelf the books and magazines that have been lying haphazardly on the coffee table.  Phew—done.  That was a pain.  But I will say, the house looks tons better.   My goal is to one day be able to welcome people into my home at any time without first having to perform the above kabuki dance.